To Love Is To Destroy
by Abxminable
Summary: When Clary dies and leaves Jace and her daughter how will Jace survive without her?
1. Chapter 1

The day Clary told me she was pregnant was the happiest day of my life. I always had my doubts about raising a child as I had only been raised by a man who taught me to love was to destroy. Turns out he was right, and wrong.

Once upon a time I was a teenage boy and I fell in love with a beautiful redhead, called Clarrissa Fray/Fairchild/Morgenstern although I had my doubts for her she turned out to be a fantastic Shadowhunter. Not just a mundane with sight. We fought as a team, or against each other, no matter what I could never be mad with her for long. Turns out it's my fault she's dead.

Now I have a beautiful child well teenager called Jessica Herondale, who was raised without her mother. Clary, Alec, Isabelle, Aline and I were raiding and nest of Greater Demons and one called Nequimlm put her in a coma and threatened if we didn't give it this book called The Book Of Sapphire Clary would never arise from the coma. It gave us a week to retrieve it and give it to the demon.

We found the book on midnight on the last day. Nequimlm came and took the book and also took Clary's soul. Isabelle was her parabatai and she said she felt Clary die before the week had ended.

So 15 years on and Isabelle, Alec, Aline and I are stuck at 17, 18 and 19 forever. The Greater Demon marked us and put forever runes on us so we can never age.

Jessica walked into my room one night and asked to see pictures of her mother, Isabelle who had been in the room at the time glanced at me and shot me a look that told me that I shouldn't but I ignored it and went to Clary's room and began to rifle through her belongings.

I found it just as she had left it. Not one item out of place. There were drawings laid out on her desk, some complete, others never to be completed. I forced myself to go into the room and found the lights still working. Dust covered almost every surface it could and I made a mental note to tell someone to clear all the dust away.

When I finally got to the wardrobe that she used to store all her albums and pictures I was lost in thought. I opened it and the old hinges creaked in protest. My eyes scanned it until I found the box I was looking for, it was labelled _Jace, Jessica, Alec, Aline, Izzy, Magnus 2010_ I smiled and remember the day Clary and I had put a album together for Jessica, her first year.

I smiled and pulled the box out and to my surprise it was so heavy I fell backwards onto the bed laughing. I tipped the items out of the box and rifled through them. I found a photo album saying _spring 2010, a new arrival_ I opened the album and I found a picture with Clary in a hospital bed holding a bloody blanket containing our baby girl with me stood next to them beaming with pride. Then there was one with me holding Jess in my arms while singing a lullaby to her.

After a while I came across the birth scan, or whatever you call them, Clary had. I remember at first Clary didn't tell me that she'd became pregnant until I found the scan lying on her desk top.

Then I heard a knock at the door, Isabelle, "Hey bro, looks like you could use some support. I've been dying to see these pictures forever!" she picked up a album saying _Izzy, my parabatai _"Can I..." her voice trailed off as she traced the outline of the book, I nodded and she began to look through it.

A few hours later Isabelle and I were laughing our heads off looking at pictures of us pulling random faces at the camera and ended up taking a bunch of albums out of the room to show Jessica.

"Dad these are amazing," she said and looked through the album, "I can't believe I never met her, yet I know her life story." That comment brought a tear to my eye.

"Jace, you coming to Pandemonium?" Alec asked me, I nodded, I could of used with a good demon hunt, "Good, good. Jess, you coming? You could come in helpful seeming as we need male demon eye candy." Jessica nodded.

I knew demon activity had been low that day so I went to gear up with Alec and Isabelle.


	2. Chapter 2

Three hours later Isabelle and Jess emerged from 'the makeup area' and both looked amazing. Izzy was wearing her typical sassy/demon hunt floor length white dress and eight inch boots. As usual she had her golden whip coiled around her arm. Jess wore exactly the same but she had a black dress on, seven inch heels and a seraph blade tucked inside her dress.

I wore a suit as did Alec and Simon who wasn't exactly thrilled to be left outside. I chuckled when I visualised Simon outside waiting for all of us to hurry up and get a move on. _Like a dog waiting outside for its masters._ The irony. Simon was almost like our pet leech that was Isabelle's boyfriend infact Simon _was_ our pet leech, he always has been since Clary first brought him into the Institute, always loyal yet always a outsider even when he knew the truth and could see it.

Isabelle tapped my arm, "Earth to Jace. Jace to Earth. Dude are you okay?" Concern was clear on her face and it made me want to smirk. Then we set off.

When we got there we didn't bother with glamour, we had to wait like mundies in the five mile long line. We cheated and got through the line. We told almost every person except ten that we were V.I.P's that were due to perform as millennium link Simon's band. Typical mundies.

The bouncer also believed us. So we waltzed in and headed straight for the bar. The bar maid was a vampire. "Oh crap... What do you want to order?"

She looked at me her tawny eyes just about missing my gaze, "I'll have a blue WKD please, Simon are you having the same?" Simon who had been scanning the club for demonic activity stopped short.

"Yeah I'll have mine spiked though, if you know what I mean Katie." He hissed at her.

"Sure thing Daylighter." She bowed her head before looking at Jessica, Maia, Magnus, Alec, Aline, and Izzy.

"I'll have my usual please." Said Magnus who was looking extremely sparkly.

"I'll have a glass of blue trakiom then, all drinks on me." Said Izzy, "Do you want what I'm getting girls?"

The murmured their yeses and pleases and then Alec spoke up, "In that case I'll have Black Dragonightic, make it fresh." I seen Isabelle's eyes cloud over and I nudged a guy next to me.

"You see that girl?" The guy nodded, "Well she's getting EVERYONE drinks on the house, want one?" The boy looked at me warily before nodding. I snickered, "Yeah Will other here wants on to! Same as Si!"

I sipped my WKD and chuckled as I seen Isabelle struggling to pay so I put a twenty in on top of the fine. "Thanks Bro." Izzy said before flouncing over to Simon. I began to dance and scan for demons and Jessica-

Where was that girl? Probably raving to some crap song or trying to seduce a demon. Then I seen my target. A female demon sauntered toward me, totally unaware of the Shadowhunters that were monitoring its every move.

"Hey, enjoying yourself are we?" It said.

"Yeah but I know where my fun lies, I'm sure you do to." I flirted, "Come to the storeroom, our fun lies there." Then I glanced at Alec as to tell him "Give it fifteen seconds after we cross the threshold then come in and help me kill it." He nodded once and continued dancing in Alec fashion.

I sauntered toward the storeroom, the demon on my heels all the way. When we got there I let my leather jacket expose a bit of my neck which was inked with marks. The demon thought they were tattoos. It came up to me and began to feel up the back of my shirt, I waited for the right moment and grabbed the beast.

"A few little hints." I tied the beast with blessed chains to a pillar. "One. You cannot seduce people full stop." I drew my seraph blade, "2. Don't seduce me." I moved the blade to just about its heart, "3. You're going to die now, so got any final words?"

"Lilith is back Jace Wayland." More Lilith crap? I stabbed it and it folded up neatly and went to its home dimension.

I drummed fingers against the wall and waited for Izzy and Alec to dash in brandishing weapons. I waited about five minutes and knew then something was wrong. I walked out and found the club empty. "Hello?" I called in panic.

"Hello indeed Jonathan Wayland, it's been year's has it not?" Lilith walked out from behind me and I felt my hand curl around a seraph blade. "Don't bother its plastic." She smirked mockingly at me and I drawn it from my belt. It was indeed plastic.

"What do you what Lilith?" I demanded in fury.

"It's not a _what _Jonathan, it is a _who._" My thoughts were turned to my family. "Who do you care about most in the world Jonathan? The person who you would devote your life to train." Jessica.

"_No!_" I whispered, "She is only a child, I won't harm her-" I was cut off by Lilith.

"You sworn on a oath that you would not hurt the redhead didn't you? Oh boy you did. You're the reason she's dead." She snickered and I had to restrain myself to not lung at her. "Dmitry, bring the child in."

This man called Dmitry dragged a small figure over to Lilith, "Dad..." Jessica's eye's were pleading but also fearless and they were also determined.

I frowned and Lilith snickered, "You're wondering why your here aren't you?" I nodded eager to leave the hell hole, "The rebirth of my mark needs to be bore upon you." Uh oh, I knew what was coming next, "take your shirt off so I can draw the mark."

Jess snorted in disgust as Lilith began the sketch the devils mark on me.


	3. Chapter 3

**Okay before this chapter I want to thank these people for their great reviews: Willowfur, StevieRae2011 and hawaiiangirl. I don't know how the story is going to roll yet but I have a clear idea forming in my head... Review or I'll write a song LOL. Enjoy.**

I must have collapsed when the rune had been inked on to my skin because I awoke on the side alley outside the club with Alec, Jessica, Izzy, Aline and Simon.

"The hell happened to you both inside that club, Jace?" asked Aline, Isabelle, Alec and Si shot grateful looks at her, she winked back. I was about to tell them about my rune and the Lilith crap but I felt like I'd been stabbed on my rune whenever I opened my mouth.

"I was killing the demon then I decided I wanted to pop out to Wal-Mart for five minutes so.." I said biting down on my lower lip hard. I then felt the saltiness as blood seeped out of it, but quickly ran my tongue over it when I seen Simon's look of sheer hunger.

"I highly doubt that, I was stood outside that room for half a hour with Alec and you didn't come out! So stop lying!" Isabelle hissed, "Then this woman with purple hair came on told us we were kicked out of the club for assaulting a group of people! Magnus went to the chippy and Maia went home but you and Jess were still in the club." She was screaming at me then.

"Isabelle..." I felt a wave of dizziness wave over me, "I don't feel so great... my stomach hurts... I need... Infirmary." Then I doubled over, turns out Lilith drugged us too.

"Alec, get Magnus." Screamed Izzy.

...

...

...

My chest was tight and I coughed up blood on to the sheets in the Infirmary. This Lilith crap had got me and Jess a sentence to stay in bed in the Infirmary for a month. I hated the fact that I wasn't allowed out of bed so at first I got out every few minutes and went skipping down the hall yelling Y-M-C-A lyrics just to annoy Alec and Magnus, who were all for me being stuck in bed, but then Magnus said that he would upload a video of me in bed to facebook. That ended my fun, swiftly.

Then I started yelling swear words at the top of my lungs but then Magnus threatened darkly to get the silent brothers in and make me one. That quickly shut me up as well.

Then I tried my most successful tack tick, robbing Isabelle's phone and texting Magnus and Alec every few minutes, and the best part is I never got caught. Until Jess grassed me up.

"Jace!" Alec screamed, "Get the phone!" My mobile was ringing, I flipped it open.

"Hello, New York Institute, Jace Wayland speaking." I said automatically.

"Ah Mr Wayland, Maryse and Robert Lightwood, your adoptive parents, unfortunately were killed during a vampire nest raid last night in Idris..." Maryse and Robert had been in Idris visiting Max's grave and the Penhallow's. They had been expected home the next day but they clearly wouldn't be coming home, again, "Their funeral shall be in Idris though."

Idris?

"Sir, I've been poisoned so I can't go..." I hissed in pain as my mark flared up again.

...

...

...

Three days later I was in Idris standing over Maryse and Roberts bodies. They were in total peace. Izzy and Alec were mourning their parents, as was I, when the new Inquisitor walked up to us.

We were huddled together talking about our time with Maryse and Robert, and Clary and Max when we seen her. I groaned as the newest hag walked over to us. She looked pretty normal to be honest, grey hair piled into a bun, brown eyes, grey wrinkles.

She sauntered up to us and Isabelle mumbled, "Are you here about the will?" The Inquisitor nodded.

"I am very sorry about your loss of parents, they didn't leave much, only their Institute and you three. They left Magnus Bane the high warlock of Brooklyn as your guardian, therefore Alexander and Isabelle Lightwood, are under the guidance of Magnus Bane. If Magnus fails to for fill any of the requirements, you four shall live in Idris under the guidance of Jordan and Alexandra Penhallow." She said blankly.

"What about Jace and Jessica!" Izzy almost yelled, "They are our family!" The Inquisitor looked at me.

"He bares the devil's mark." Crap. "I shall take him and his child to a safe sanctuary here in Idris but you two better go home with the downworlder." She sneered.

I seen Isabelle reach for her whip and Alec his bow, "Go home guys. I'll never forget you." Then I pulled them into a hug.

"Jace..." Alec mumbled before turning and walking away. Just like that.

Then Isabelle shot me a look and I nodded, then she sprinted after Alec, leaving me, Jess and the Inquisitor alone. Then she whipped fire cuffs out and cuffed us.

Great.

Another crazy Inquisitor to add to the hall of hate.

"Jace, you will follow me if you want your fiancée to be raised from the dead."


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you for your reviews: MortalEnemies1234, hawaiiangirl and Celtic Healer. Anyway I'm going to try and make this chapter longer... Enjoy! =']**

**...**

We walked through the back streets of Idris following the Inquisitor and I realised that fires were burning in the street like last time. "What the..." The Inquisitor said to herself before addressing us, "You two, stay here, okay?"

"Yes ma'am. Wait..." I trailed off as she had already ran out of the alley and into view. "Jess just call me Jace, not dad, okay?"

Jess looked at me in shock for a moment before nodding, "Sure thing, Jace." She smirked and I ruffled her hair as carefully as I could with fire cuffs on.

Then the ugliest demon crept into the alley with us. It was a greater demon because of the reeking smell that made me want to throw up, clearly I didn't, I began to taunt it. "Hey ugly! Have you ever heard of deodorant or perfume? Well you really need some!" It's red eyes glared at me in fury, "Oh and I would suggest that you clean your teeth some time soon."

Jess snickered and it glared a hole in my head then Isabelle and Alec walked into the alley screaming at each other.

"I told you it was the next left!" Shrieked Isabelle.

"And I told you that I could smell a demon!" Alec roared back. Gahh are these people BLIND?

"Shut up! Shut up! SHUT UP!" Roared Isabelle, "You wanna kill it now?" Alec paled as he seen me.

"Hi Jace." He said in a small voice.

I ignored him and yelled, "Is someone going to kill this stupid demon? Or will I have to with cuffs and my bare hands?"

Alec grabbed his bow, and fired at the cuffs. "Thank me later, just kill it." Then he whipped a seraph blade from his belt and passed it to me.

"Seraphiel." I whispered, sliced Jessica's cuffs in half and then flew at the demon slicing at its limbs.

Jess had her seraph blade, Isabelle and her whip, and Alec and his bow and they were attacking it like me. "Isabelle, Jess go for the limbs, Alec for its head and I'll go for the heart!" I yelled over the demon screaming.

Isabelle leapt off its head, where she had had it in a headlock with her whip and coiled the whip around one of its claws yanking it out in the process making the demon howl in fury, and causing yellow puss to come spewing out onto Isabelle. "Thanks." She said all to calmly, her voice dripped with sarcasm.

Then it caught me off guard with its claw like hand and it pinned me up against a wall howling in fury at me. "Sorry but I don't think you noticed before, I. Do. Not. Speak. Greater. DEMON!" I screamed at it, "CA PSH? Good. Isabelle, deodorant!" I screamed at her gesturing to the demons eye.

"Okay I'll throw it up to you!" She opened a little clutch bag and yanked a little spray deodorant out and threw it to me. I caught it in one hand and sprayed it all into the demons eyes making it recoil and drop me on to the ground.

I'd landed on my left arm and I guessed it was broken as I couldn't move it. This was going to be fun. I channelled all my anger into getting back on my feet and then lunging at the demon

"Change of plan, Alec and Isabelle go to Amatis Garroway's house and bring her here while I teach Jess a move." Then the demon smashed my head into a wall and I was knocked out.

...

_The crowd wasn't moving or speaking. And I needed to get through to see Alec and Isabelle. _

_I raced across a ledge and noticed that the closer I got into the crowd, the more quiet they became. Something was wrong. I could feel it._

_I then seen what the crowd was looking at. Dead bodies. There was two dead wolves lay limp on their side, paws bound with silver chains, Lucian and Maia. Then I allowed my eyes to move to the two redhead lay near the larger wolfs body. Jocelyn and Clary. My heart shattered when I seen Clary just lying there._

_I begged myself not to look at the two blackheads. Alec and Isabelle. _

_Then I noticed it wasn't just a crowd, it was every conclave where Shadowhunters roam. And wolves in their human form._

_I turned around and found Simon biting into my neck..._

_..._

The lights in the room hurt my eyes and my arm felt normal. I scanned the room for life and then seen Sebastian sitting on the window ledge eyes shut. "Well, well, well. I knew you'd bring him, Jaylnn." Said Sebastian to some other person in the room.

"I always follow your orders, My Lord." Said the Inquisitor. Then I realised. Sebastian was getting a little cult/circle like Valentine did.

"How..." I looked at the Inquisitor and seen Violet Brownhedge, Sian Rivers, Rachel Rownwood, Sam Rothburke and Liam Kyle standing behind the Inquisitor.

"How did I become the Inquisitor and be a member of the inner circle? I killed the real Inquisitor and read through their file. Then I took their place and came to get you, Jace." Jaylnn smirked at me, "Do not ask me why your idiot mother named you Jonathan because you don't deserve that name."

What the hell? Do you speak Dutch now Jaylnn?

"Well, my mother may have been a idiot, but, your mother was a player. And I doubt you've ever had a date in your life have you Jaylnn" I retorted with a huge grin on my face. "Sian, and Violet your father was a cheater because you share the same daddy and Liam chats up Sam's girlfriend. Or should I say Michael's girlfriend behind his back."

Angel! If only I had a camera on me...

"Oh and Rachel, run." Oh. My. Angel. That made my sides split laughing. Rachel is like her parents. Terrified of the word run. Pathetic much?

"Sebastian, get to the business. Show me where she is, but if someone else follows us I'll slit their throat. All I've wanted for these past sixteen years is her back. So I'll do whatever you want." I said. Wait. I didn't say that at all.

Sebastian took me to a dark room where Lilith was stood over Clary's body.

"And the hag is still alive. Whoop e do!" I was trying my hardest to taunt Sebastian so I could get into a decent fight that I would actually win.

"She will rise at midnight." Said Lilith very I-am-the-business-so-do-not-screw-with-me-Herondale-child like.

So childish.

I have a brilliant flaw, it enables me to screw with someone's mind by acting the freak. And my flaw was preparing itself to attack head on.

"So Lilith how was the fifty foot drop from the Cathedral in France?" Her dwarfish ears pricked up in fury so I knew I was doing good. "I heard you sort of... faked your own death..." I dawdled, "and had a funeral pyre, hosted by leaches!"

Thank you brilliant flaw!

She literally flew at me in fury spitting the remaining pieces of her dinner into my face as she roared, "That was my, BROTHER! Stupid Nephilim child!"

9999999999999999 cheers for Jace Herondale's Flaw!

Actually nah let's not.

"Woah you have _siblings?_" I asked her. Almost every greater demon, or whatever she was, had siblings.

She gave me a look and continued with telling me what I was to do. "Walk over to Clarrissa, place your hand on her mark and place her hand on yours. Hers is on her neck."

I gently picked up her stone cold left hand, and placed it on my stomach where my mark was and placed my left hand on her neck. A jolt of electricity was sent through us and Lilith grabbed Sebastian's arm and sliced a long scar into it.

"What the..." Sebastian roared before throwing the knife at Lilith, who caught it.

"You agreed!" She accused him and threw the knife at his heart.

"Can you stop with the knife throwing back and forth crap?" I yelled.

"Yes, we can." Her eyes turn red. "Satan's God, Satan's God. Bring the child to life. Through my power, invested in evil, with the untied sacrifice of Nephilim, bring her back. A life for a death. A plant for a seed." She chanted.

Then I felt drained and had the urge to collapse on to the floor.

"Jace!" Clary's voice was the last thing I heard before I drifted...

...

I was looking down from up above and seen Clary mourning over me. Isabelle and Alec had just ran into the room and found me lying there. I looked at my body and whispered, "Why?"

I was alone up here. Then Max came up to me, "Jace you can't go back yet. Not until Midnight tomorrow."

"Jonathan! How could you!" Lilith roared at Sebastian. Oh yes! Even in death I'm more popular than him!

Then she threw a soul sword at him and I was pulled down to earth... for the second time.

...

My head was spinning, like last time, "Next time I'm about to die warn me or I'll stay by hells gate and refuse to move." Lilith grabbed Sebastian's body and threw it out of a window.

"Nice." Said Clary before embracing me in a hug.

I looked at her.

"Dying aint nice." I said, forcing the grin I wanted so badly to hide down.

"It was for me, get away from your ugly mug for fifthteen years." She was trying not to smirk.

"I wonder why you smelt so awful when they burnt you, all that Morgenstern crap inside of you." She was smiling freely now.

"I totally agree with Jace." Said Isabelle. "You totally reeked."

"Izzy!" Clary yelled.

"And Alec." Said Magnus, "And maybe Magnus to."

Then there came the hugs. To many hugs for me and Clary.

Bleh.

I am allergic to hugs now.

But I must admit it was pretty cool having a fiancée that rose from the dead.


End file.
